It’s almost Valentine’s Day. One of the hardest days to pass as a “late” single. You probably fit in the “late” singles category if everyone your age is married. I get it. It’s a difficult and complex reality, and it’s painful.
You dream of marriage, and I’ll tell you, it is wonderful. It’s everything you’ve ever thought it to be as a single, but then again, it’s so much more.
Marriage is hard. It constantly points me to my faults. While he may not always be in the right, my responses are so often in the wrong. It’s a vulnerable sort of grace. I never truly understood Christ and the church being compared to marriage until I saw the reaction of my spouse when I failed. The constant forgiveness, love, and pursuit. This is why these relationships are compared in the Bible.
So why am I telling you this?–Because it was difficult for me to grasp with clarity in my single years. Because being single was hard too. It was hard in a much different way. The anticipation and waiting for someone, who may or may not even exist, was a stomach churning reality. God used those years though. He grew me. He changed my heart. He taught me the pursuit of Him, and in the right time, He introduced me to the right one.
Just as I learned to pursue God in my single years, I’m learning to pursue my spouse in the married years. I’m learning to take the lessons from my single years and utilize them for a greater marriage.
I developed the habit of devotions during my single waiting. Now, young and married, we turn off the T.V. after dinner for devotions and prayer. I love it! I get to pursue my spouse by growing with God.
The patience God taught me during my single period is essential to the strength of my marriage today. I patiently waited for this man for years. With that same patience, I should love him daily.
During my single years, I learned joy despite circumstances. This taught me to choose my attitude, to make the most of time. Today, I have to remind myself of the reasons I have to be grateful. I have to focus on how God has been so good.
When I was single, life seemed hard. The truth–marriage doesn’t make life easier. Paul even warned us marriage would be difficult. It’s a blessing, but it is one which takes work. Marriage means daily choosing to love your spouse, putting his needs above yours, and forgiving despite what the other has done.
See, your single years may not be where you would place yourself, but it is where God can provide for your future. That may mean marriage, or it may mean letting Him take you places beyond your dreams. The greatest lesson I took from my single years was God’s sovereignty. Now that I know my spouse, I see God’s provision. He knew what we both needed to learn before marriage. He knew what was best. There was a time I thought He’d take me overseas into missions. I didn’t know what God had for me as a single lady. What I did learn, was He is able to do far more abundantly than anything we ask or think. As I learned this lesson, I watched Him work. He brought me the most amazing man, but even if He hadn’t, God would have surpassed my dreams. Wherever He took me, it would have been amazing, and the wait would have been worth it.