“Ughh…I’m just so tired of him…”
“Why can’t he be more like…”
“You know if I were you…”
Picture sitting with your girl friends. Perhaps it is movie night. Perhaps you’re celebrating the end of a long week. Maybe you’ve gone out to eat.
Your friends are laughing. The stress and pressure you’ve felt all week is gone and today is the first moment you’ve had to just relax.
Not only that, but it has also been a stressful week at home. You and your husband have some big decisions to make. There’s financial stress. There’s the chaos of the same busy talk and pressure every night. You’re tired and recently you’ve even been arguing more.
So tonight, the night you have out, it is time to release.
You tell “the girls” about everything. You know you probably shouldn’t, but the nitty-gritty details just have to be expelled and everything comes gushing out of your mouth like a geyser erupting in its due time.
Imagine with me…in those moments, what if your husband was present? What if he was offered a tape of the conversation? It wasn’t malicious. It was innocent stress-relieving mouth vomit, nothing more, nothing less. Would it hurt him? Would he feel disrespected by the comments you made?
Marriage is an intimate relationship for a reason. Some things are kept between two people. They are guarded. They are protected.
Point 1: Keep things that happen at home, at home.
Maybe like me you are still relatively young. Just to clarify a common misconception that seems to be prevalent in our millennial culture, once you’re married you’re finished “shopping around”. You have eyes for one and one only. That means comments about how another guy looks, thoughts about other men, and indulging yourself by watching the “hot” guy in a movie or T.V. show is simply unacceptable. It’s a break of your marriage vows and time to grow up.
Point 2: Eyes for one and one only.
Remember the defense signs held up at sporting events? When you are in public, not only should you not talk negatively about your man. You are on defense. In a gentle yet firm way, protect his honor. Don’t let others talk down about him around you. Make it a non-negotiable. Soon it shouldn’t even be an issue, because others will know you don’t indulge in “espionage” by turning from his side.
Point 3: D-E-F-E-N-S-E
Finally, scripture tells us that we are to give respect to our husbands. One easy and positive way to do this is to take the conversation and turn it to praise for your husband and the things that he’s done. Brag on him a bit. It will make him feel good and show him just how much you recognize the great things he’s done.
Point 4: Brag on your man.
1 Corinthians 13:7a “Love always protects.”
Protect your husband and marriage. It’s all too easy to become the gossip girl. Guard him like the day you married. You’ll never regret protecting your marriage and keeping it first.